Don't ask me 'bout that rad selfish love.

Today, I wished that I was more of a rebel. More of a I-know-what-I-want. More of an independent. More of a traveller.
Much more of a rad music person.

I wished that I've got piercings all over my flesh and face, with blankets of radlot tattoos across my skin - each carrying a stench of my wilful determination. I wished I've forced the guitar on myself, and made myself stay up all night just to think of titles that would fit my compositions to the s.

I wished that I had a voice, that I have my own legs. That I was a rebel, a hippie. That I could lug my guitar in it's beatened case across lands in search of a living. That I had the damn guts to do that.

Tonight, I pray to just have these all in a dream. Then when dawn breaks tomorrow, the morning would be filled with tears, regret, and gratitude.

Then maybe in the afternoon, I would be able to pull my damn socks up and start moving into the line that I've always wanted too.

Maybe it might/might not come true. Maybe I have to start doing things that people stereotyped me to not do. Maybe it might start to upset people, and maybe even god.

But he will still love us so,
we can selfishly love him still.